A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
