No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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