I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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