we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
