I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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