Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize