these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
