Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
