I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
