I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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