Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
