please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
