at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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