Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
