if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
