Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
