I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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