The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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