what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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