The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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