You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
