When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize