i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After last night, I could never be a politician.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
