I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Randomize
