hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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