I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
