just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
