I showed him my bush... on skype.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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