dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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