I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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