come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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