i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
