dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
