Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
