i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
