3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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