shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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