I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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