He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
