Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
