remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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