A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
