The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
