i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize