how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
