Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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