i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
