After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
