I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Randomize