I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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