Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
