i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
