porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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