when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
