So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
