the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
