You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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