11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
