How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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