oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
