Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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