so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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